Some Daily Grace

The Great Blush Revealed: Adventures in Humility

2012-01-28T08:13:00.000-08:00

"Humility" has always been a concept that I have had a hard time grasping. What exactly does it mean? The online dictionary says that it is "the quality or condition of being humble (modest, inferior or respectful); modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc." It goes on to state the synonyms: lowliness, meekness or submissiveness. The antonym is pride. I can go down the

God 301 Intensive

2011-12-23T13:25:00.001-08:00

The move is complete, I am settling into a beautiful new home and I am grateful. Most of the boxes are unpacked and I am slipping into a new routine. I look out the window at the mist sinking down onto the mountain, my Christmas tree is nestled into the bay window and a water fountain adds some soothing noise. This is where God has led me, I had been scared to leave my old place, scared that I

Moving...

2011-11-20T10:42:00.001-08:00

I haven't written much lately as I have been getting ready to move after Thanksgiving. It hasn't been altogether that difficult however, because I had started the process of purging after my son left for college. My empty nest syndrome manifested in a psychotic obsessive need to get rid of everything I haven't been using. I went through closets, tossing Easter cards from the 80's along with

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

2011-10-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

A brilliant man said today, "there is always a light at the end of every tunnel." So many times I forget as I am experiencing strife, that I always come out of that difficulty and into the light. However I can always choose to stay in the tunnel, to stay in the darkness or the problem. The light is scary sometimes, it is bright and many times it is an unknown. I believe I have made it to the

Oh no, I'm a control freak

2011-09-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

but I am horrible at it, in much the same way as a dog does not make a good cat, sorbet just doesn't cut it as ice cream or mosquitoes do not make loving house pets. I love order from chaos, but I tend to control that which is not in my power to control. Much like standing in front of a dam after hurricane Irene, there are those things that I am not meant to manage, like nearly everything. But

And they appeared, as if by magic

2011-09-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

Autumn has slipped in, the leaves are already changing here in the Berkshires. This morning I took to the Appalachian Trail for the first time in a few weeks, and it was like slipping into a different world. Birch leaves covered the trail, roots seemed to have sprung (my feet had forgotten where they were.) It even sounded different, songbirds no longer called, here and there a word or two;

Taking Flight

2011-09-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I set out for a run, choosing the trail behind my apartment which weaves through rolling fields, past a pond, over a brook and by some pine woods. I hadn't been running in a few days and my lungs felt it, and my legs were a little shaky, but I ventured on, determined to add five miles to my running tally. As I passed the pond a Great Blue Heron took flight, he was invisible to my

It just might be time for a nap...

2011-09-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

I have been putting off writing this post for a few weeks now, resistance is a powerful force, and is futile, as the Borg say. But what I resist is what I know I need to look at. On September 1, my son went off to college, leaving a very quiet, empty home. I am also no longer a student and at present have no job title. And this is exactly where I need to be at the moment. My person has been

Looking at Myself

2011-09-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today is a day of remembrance for all who died on September 11, ten years ago. I wonder though, if we could remember all who have died, period. Yes, violence was directed at us, but what about those we kill? Are they somehow not worthy of our prayers and love? What about the millions of people killed in senseless war, even the Native Americans we killed, either through malice and greed or via the

Fly...no wait, come back

2011-09-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

I delivered my son safely to college this past Thursday and immediately plunged into an uncomfortable emotional experience. There is a phenomenon out there known by psychologists as empty nest syndrome. It is not actually an illness, but rather a certain set of feelings that accompany this transition period. Where once one's life is consumed by raising a child, now the parent must discover what

Ok so...

2011-08-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

life is going to unravel exactly the way it is supposed to...God will handle it, without my hand reaching into the cookie jar. So why not just allow it? Why is it so scary to actually turn my will and life over to my Creator? Am I really that arrogant as to think that I can come up with better solutions? Or do I not trust in times of anticipation? The questions I need to ask: What is in my

The Eyes Have It

2011-08-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

The other day I day I drove past a hiker who had just emerged from a segment of the Appalachian Trail. For the briefest of moments I caught his eye, or he caught mine. I will never see this gentleman again, I don't even remember what he looked like, but I do remember connecting with him through that glance. Call me crazy (you won't be the first) but connection is possible, even for seconds, as we

A Dog's Life

2011-08-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

The Partnership for Animal Welfare defined temperament as "the general attitude a dog displays towards people and other animals; it is the combined inherited and acquired physical and mental traits that influence the dog's behavior." Temperament is hereditary, but behavior is the result of the upbringing and external situations in which the dog was exposed. While we might not be able to change

How Can I Serve God?

2011-07-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

The actual process of looking for a "job" in a way severs the connection with my God. I am seeking a way to make money, to gain a reward and when I think of it in these terms I lose track of the real reason why I need to work. I need to serve God. I need to use what skills I have in order to make a difference in the world, in order to spread compassion and dispel fear. How best can I do that,

That where there is despair, I may bring hope, part 2

2011-07-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

Warning, this is a rant and only a rant, you have the right to stop reading, if you choose to keep reading you will be responsible for your own reactions. The facts: I am between school and gainful employment. I have been actively looking for a job and receiving rejection after rejection. I have not paid my bills in many months. The following is a representation of a conversation that takes place

That where there is despair, I may bring hope

2011-07-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

This is my third time sitting to write this post. Blogger has decided to edit my writing, in its entirety. Maybe this happens for a reason, the original post was about an experience I had being tailgated this morning, the fear that came up and my reactions to that fear. I have power over my actions and reactions, I don't have power over the world at large or the cruelty of humanity. I was

Separation Anxiety

2011-07-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

I took care of a little dog this weekend that exhibited the symptoms of separation anxiety, scratching at the door, barking and peeing when left alone. I could relate to that little canine (minus the peeing), whenever I become separate from my Higher Source I become a little crazy too. My symptoms are slightly different, but I do get anxious, irritable, and tend to display a little bark, snapping

When life hands us lemons

2011-07-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

we are supposed to make lemonade, right? Have you ever had lemonade made merely from lemons? Pretty disgusting. If I am going to make lemonade, or the best of a situation, I need two additional ingredients for a stellar brew, sugar (gratitude) and water (God). If I have a daily spiritual practice which involves God and gratitude I won't be complaining about lemons, but as I tend to forget

That where there is doubt, I may bring faith

2011-07-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

I doubt, I always doubt. I am standing on the edge of a cliff, fog rolling in, the sounds of waves crashing against rock in the distance. Do I take a step? My doubt comes out of fear, fear is the root of all I do, or do not attempt. I am currently unemployed without the safety net of unemployment insurance. I have no source of income. So I doubt because I am afraid, I am terrified of losing my

The Spirituality of Play

2011-06-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Remember what it was like to be a kid, pumping legs, the swing going higher and higher, until that feeling...hair trailing through dirt. The merry-go-round, being dizzy as a friend pushed harder and harder, finally jumping on when the legs couldn't go any faster. Freeze tag, toilet tag, redlight greenlight... As a child most of our everyday stress was released on the playground, hanging upside

McDreamy Revisited

2011-06-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I am now completely powerless over "Grey's Anatomy" and my life has become unmanageable. At least I waited to watch this series until after I completed my final semester of school. The most dangerous words as of late are "next episode." Thank you Netflix for being my pusher. What sucks me into a series? Drama, love and relationships, characters "getting together. " I remember, sitting

That where there is error, I may bring truth

2011-06-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

Tricky, especially since I am always right, but just who am I to say that there is an error? Where there is error within me, then and only then can I bring truth, and only internally. There is nothing that gets my juices flowing more than a good debate, especially with fundamentalists. The problem with this adrenaline high is that there is no give and take. I don't believe what they do or say and

That where there is discord, I may bring harmony

2011-06-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

The other translated line of this prayer reads "unity" instead of harmony. I will stick with the version of the prayer I have been using until this point. The word "discord" has multiple meanings according to the dictionary, a lack of agreement between people or ideas, quarreling, or in musical terns, dissonance, or lack of harmony. This English major loves it when phrases are open for

That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness

2011-06-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Forgiveness is hard. Period. I don't think that it is something I can think my way into either, it needs to come from the heart. I am good at lying to myself, and when I just think I am over a "wrong" done to me, the resentment will pop up someplace else in my life. It is tourist season here in the Berkshires, a good time to flex my forgiveness muscles as I attempt to drive through my little town

That where there is hatred, I may bring love

2011-06-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Easier said than done. Hatred seems a strong word; irritation, dislike, animosity, loathing, disgust and abhorrence are the synonyms though, and I can see myself indulging in any one of those. St. Francis held a high standard, but it came a sense of peace that those around him felt. I ask myself: am I a maniac when I try to drive through town in the middle of the high season? Just how loving am I

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace

2011-06-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to become a channel of peace? It sounds as if it could be a wee bit new ageish. I think, writing in the 13th century however, Saint Francis wasn't going for the psychic medium angle. In order to become a channel one must first clear away the debris, the violent thoughts and actions that clutter my day, in order to allow a sense of peace to enter. I am proud to say that I don't

The Prayer of Saint Francis

2011-06-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;that where there is hatred, I may bring love;that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;that where there is error, I may bring truth;that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;that where there is despair, I may bring hope;that where there are shadows, I may bring light;that where there

Spiritual Anorexia

2011-06-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

I gave myself a gift the other day and went to Kripalu Yoga Center for their Retreat and Renewal Program. One day, one luxurious stress-free day filled with healthy vegetarian food, yoga, meditation and writing. As I sat writing in the sun room overlooking the Berkshire Hills and Stockbridge Bowl, I realized that although I have regular contact with my Creator, taking time to pray everyday, I

Eclipsed by the Knight

2011-06-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

The knight in shining armor, dream of many a small girl, and many a full grown girl. We yearn for the fairy tale, the glass slipper, the beast that turns handsome, or Richard Gere climbing a fire escape to whisk us from a life of poverty. A few nights ago I watched the latest Twilight movie, Eclipse. In this movie, for those of you who don't know, Edward and Jake are both fighting for the

Let the Mosquitoes Be Your Guide

2011-05-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

I needed quiet time with God today. I also needed a long run, so I dropped my car off to get my snow tires removed (I think it's safe) and headed South on the Appalachian Trail. I wasn't sure what to expect as I entered a field that abuts Route 7. I turned off my music, sure that it would robe me of the total effect. Good choice. I arrived into a magical world, filled with lush grasses and

Markings

2011-05-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

My son let it slip the other day that my father did not approve of the tattoos I have gotten over the last decade, and said that I was poisoning myself. Typical comment from a concerned parent and I might feel the same way if my own child walked in the door decorated. What my dad doesn't know however, is that each of the marks I have permanently placed on my body have spiritual significance. The

What's in a Name?

2011-05-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day 2011. Happy day to all who are mothers, all who have mothered, and all who wish to do so. Giving birth to a child, an idea, or yourself, these actions, they all seem to blend. I know that labor is painful, I do remember those 20 hours it took on a cold December day, 18 years ago. But I also know that the creation process, whether it be a work of art, thesis, business plan or any

Random Acts of Kindness

2011-04-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

My weekend ritual includes a trip to my local Dunkin, for a very large super caffeinated coffee. This morning, the young woman manning the drive through told me that she is very happy to see me pull up because I am always so kind, and usually people aren't. This comment made my day, I felt amazing, pulling out and heading home (not because of the lack of kind people out there). The simple act of

Worshipping at the Altar of Technology

2011-03-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

I have been fascinated with new technology recently, ipads, Kindle, Smartphones and other shiny new expensive items that gently lure in unsuspecting victims. This is a new phenomenon for me however. I was the last in my family to get a cellphone, pleading ignorance and standing tall and proud among the 27 people (and my dog) left without one. What is it about constantly connecting with the

Tolerance and Pity, oh my

2011-02-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I reacted strongly to a statement made by someone in my spiritual discussion group. As I am still stewing and chewing, I thought it best to explore why two words can set my blood a boil. The two offending words, "tolerance" and "pity." As a writer I am amazed at the power words have, they initiate world movements, hurt and also heal. I started to play around in the dictionary,

Fighting with God: Round Two, Tea Time

2011-01-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night, where I sat in front of a machine that doled out coins, one at a time, in a slow methodical fashion. I sometimes feel that the Universe does this to me, doling out what I need, one thing at a time, never an outpouring, just a coin here and a coin there. Of course this is not the way the Universe works. There is an infinite abundance out there waiting for me, infinite

Great Expectations

2011-01-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

I have always harbored a negative connotation for the word "expectation" and I am not sure why. Some folks say that expectations are premeditated resentments. This can be true, although an expectation is awaiting a future event, but I seem to place expectations on people as well. I expect that so and so will do this, or act in such a way. I believe that I set the bar extremely high so that when

Surfacing

2011-01-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

I recently went through a dark period, where I was oozing negativity and self pity. I believe that I hit a bottom of sorts, like diving into a pool and touching the floor. Instead of staying underwater and holding my breath, I chose to push myself back to the surface. This resurfacing has been an exhilarating process, mostly because I gave myself a hard push, I didn't wait to float slowly. I

Gratitude

2011-01-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you

Of Paper Towels, Purple Shoes and Miracles

2011-01-06T10:54:00.000-08:00

This past week has been an interesting one to say the least. I have been observing my reactions to life's challenges, and although the patterns haven't quite gelled, the mixed metaphors are aplenty. Observation number 1: I am like a paper towel, capable of extreme self - absorption. Just call me the quicker picker upper. Observation number 2: Not only do I absorb, but I drink in negativity and

Fighting with God: Round One

2011-01-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

God and I are fighting. Rather, I am throwing a temper tantrum and God is the target. When I am fighting with God I am forgetting all that I receive in a daily basis. I am not practicing gratitude. I still am ticked, and tired and scared, and I know that my Higher Power is the only one I can yell at, curse, and still be loved unconditionally. So yesterday I screamed, I ranted, I raved and God

Survival Means Forgetting God

2011-01-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

This is my brain, well, maybe it is a representation of my brain. Right there in the Pons and Medulla is where my primal instincts reside, instincts that have been firing lately, that have been literally kicking my butt. These instincts tell me to collect, to hold, to keep everything I have and not let go because my survival is at stake. I know for a fact that whenever I turn my will and my life

New Years

2011-01-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone. A few days ago we celebrated the beginning of 2011 and the time of year when we set goals for the upcoming 365 days. One notices an increase in fellow folk at the gym and a decrease in the packs of cigarettes sold per day. For me however, a year is too large a chunk of time to plan for and my goals become unmanageable. I go for the "lose 20 pounds" instead of "eat

Plowing the Road to Happy Destiny

2010-12-18T15:28:00.000-08:00

Whenever one thinks of this journey we call life, one may always call to mind a reference to a road. After all we travel from destination to destination following paths laid down by people who came before us. We have all used this road metaphor. Seneca said, "It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness." Agree, although paving might be an easy solution. Someone else once said that

Writer's Doubt

2010-12-12T12:11:00.000-08:00

Move over writer's block, you I can handle, what is kicking my butt today is writer's doubt, that little nagging sense in my brain that says: "are you sure you can do this?" I opened a much anticipated email the other day, only to read the words: "Although you were among many talented applicants, I am unable to fit you into the class. You are being placed on the waiting list." To me this

"The Power of Intention"

2010-11-28T10:25:00.000-08:00

Recently Hay House sent "Daily Grace" a copy of The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way by Wayne Dyer. This edition of the 2004 book is beautifully illustrated by Jui Ishida. The website states, "Dr. Wayne W. Dyer has researched intention as a force in the universe that allows the act of creation to take place. This book explores intention—not as something you do—but

Just Do It

2010-11-24T12:15:00.000-08:00

I traveled to Brookline Massachusetts Sunday, 270 miles round trip to see one of my favorite speakers, Mike Dooley, author of Notes from the Universe. It was well worth the drive and Christ's Church Unity welcomed me into their fold and made me feel part of the family. As I am not a big fan of organized religion, I was surprised to enjoy the service which included a meditation, song and readings

Life is just a big ole water balloon

2010-11-18T18:14:00.000-08:00

It is the middle of the semester, the research projects are piling up and the creatures that come out at night have decided to mess up my house. Well, maybe I just haven't cleaned in a few days, or rather months. As this is my fifth semester at my present school, I have had a wee bit of time to practice the overworked college student juggling act. There are areas that I have improved (dishes and

The Calm Sea is Full of Shoes

2010-10-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

The day is crisp, a gentle breeze blows from the north, or south. The house is quiet, for once my animal friends are snoozing. I am serene, my life is running smoothly, things are falling into place. Why do I want so bad to splash? Not just a little, oops sorry I got you splash. I want to create waves, I want to start a fight, to mix things up a bit. It is hard to sit in peace with oneself. I

Ode to a Great Blue Heron

2010-10-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

It is foliage season in New England, the leaves are turning their brilliant or not so brilliant colors before dropping to the ground to be come recycled material. It always sneaks up on me, one day I will be standing in the woods and they are awash in color, the next day, or so it seems all that's left are branches. The variances in between are imperceptible. We become accustomed to our

Juggling in a Sea of...

2010-10-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

I will now embark on a journey of mixed metaphors and sharp right hand turns. Some writers keep journals, I happen to keep little slips of paper. Not the most organized way to keep all of one's thoughts in proper order, but they sit in a neat pile on my desk, waiting to be looked at, and ultimately brought to fruition. One such slip of paper fell out of my pocket today. A friend of mine said a

Connection

2010-09-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

Today a replica of my car drove by on the turnpike, same color, same make and model. I ended up by chance following the car on my journey home after a grueling day of classes and rushing and errands galore. We were 2 very blue cars driving in the rush hour traffic, but when he finally turned to follow his own route he waved out the window right as I was waving to him. A seemingly insignificant

Running

2010-09-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

I posted a one liner on Facebook a few months ago, "May you always run downhill." This revelation had come after I had completed a five mile run with a few difficult hills followed by the blessing of a downhill sprint. I love running downhill, the wind in my hair, the quickened pace, the joy. But if I am always running down, I never receive the benefits of the climb, number one being stronger

Spring's Third Day

2010-09-10T11:07:00.000-07:00

has arrived.

The Carnival is Coming, or The Carnival is Here

2010-09-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been likening my head to a carnival, not my haircut, although it has been humid today and the poodle act needs to be filled, but the thoughts that incessantly race all day long. The Hall of Mirrors: Ok, I really am not as fat as I think I am, or stupid, lazy, slow, etc. I view myself in a distorted way, so it is important to rely on a trusted group of friends to tell me the truth

Good Fences Make What?

2010-08-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Good tomatoes? "Boundary," it's a dirty word, I know. It is also something that I don't know how to make or keep, especially in intimate relationships. I either push people away, or attach myself so completely that I smother them, thus pushing them away. I know that I have a hard time being in a healthy relationship, it is a daily struggle to remain open to love and acceptance. I have been

Am I Prejudiced?

2010-08-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

I was at the dog park this morning with the "kids," listening in on a conversation between some of the other "parents." One asked another, (both had second homes in the area) whether they had experienced any prejudice toward out of towners from the locals. Apparently this gentleman had been accused of being "one of those 212ers," another way of saying a rich New Yorker. When I think of prejudice

In Defense of my God, Round 1

2010-08-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

I enjoy debating every once in a while, it gets the juices flowing and helps me to practice formulating my thoughts in a dignified manner. Living in Massachusetts, it is rare to come across a Republican, so I tend to discuss matters with like minded people. For the past week or so I have been having a debate with someone I respect, but with whose views I completely disagree with. It is agree to

The Perfect Spot

2010-08-22T14:40:00.002-07:00

Maybe the beach in Cape Cod, Massachusetts isn’t considered a global escapade, but it has its cultural rituals to observe. The natives build temporary structures on the shore, each mapping out a territory. When choosing one’s territory, careful planning must be carried out. First one must find an empty piece of beach, suitable in size and smooth in texture. Nothing is worse than sitting on a

Yes, I Am Evolving, I’m Just a Little Slow

2010-08-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning, my brain was ready to go, the committee in my head was already in session. According to certain religions, if I don’t believe in a certain human that died for my sins, then I am automatically going to hell. This doesn’t sit right with me, and today I am acting as if my entire belief system were under attack. Which is only in my head, my system is still intact. I have a

Practicing Acceptance

2010-08-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am a control freak (except when it comes to my house!) and the practice of acceptance is one of the more difficult spiritual goals I have set for myself. To accept the things I cannot change is fine as long as I am oblivious to what cannot be changed. The other day I was heading toward Boston and passed an anti-evolution billboard that screamed at me (or maybe that was my imagination). The 20-

Happy

2010-08-11T08:05:00.001-07:00

Birthday to my beautiful partner, 8/10/10, and no, it's not Herbert Hoover...

Lessons From the Wheel Part 2: Centering

2010-08-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Have we skipped a step, gathering clay perhaps, and preparing it to make a vessel? Is that what the Creator does when we are born? Free will is then given to us and we are then in turn responsible for our own lives. Nevertheless, centering is hard, both on the wheel and off. The clay is placed firmly within a carved circle on the wheel, but still can be off centered so it has to be worked into

I Am

2010-08-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

Today I felt the fear infiltrating as I rifled through my change jar for gas money. I found seven dollars in quarters, landed at pump seven and the fear dissipated. Intellectually I know that my god carries me through day by day. But sometimes, or maybe often, the fear just seeps back in. I am heading toward my senior year at a top notch university, one that doesn't allow me time for a job, so I

Life Lessons from the Wheel: Part 1

2010-07-30T16:22:00.000-07:00